1
00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:07,787
[Man] Now, this is what we sent them:
"Out of 800,000 subscribers
to our magazine,

2
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:11,381
our research computers have selected you
as the average American family."

3
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:14,586
We've repeated that:
"Average American family.

4
00:00:14,661 --> 00:00:19,621
"You'll receive $5,000,
and our magazine will
do a full picture story on your family.

5
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,533
Details to follow."
Who'd the wire go to,
Mr. Morgan?

6
00:00:22,602 --> 00:00:26,834
We sent it to
"Mr. And Mrs. Herman Munster,

7
00:00:26,907 --> 00:00:29,307
1313 Mockingbird Lane."

8
00:00:30,977 --> 00:00:35,380
Isn't it wonderful, Herman?
They say we Munsters
fit the average family statistics...

9
00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:37,417
almost to a "T."

10
00:00:37,484 --> 00:00:40,248
It's quite an honor
for our family to be chosen,

11
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:44,051
and that $5,000 prize
will come in handy too.

12
00:00:44,124 --> 00:00:47,252
And it's going to be a cover story.
Can't you just see it?

13
00:00:47,327 --> 00:00:50,694
Our picture in homes
all over the country.

14
00:00:50,764 --> 00:00:55,497
Why, with your good looks
and my handsome features,
I'm sure we'll be a smash.

15
00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:59,028
[Shatters]

16
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,167
[Chuckles]
Well, now. According
to the second telegram,

17
00:02:10,243 --> 00:02:13,906
a photographer and a reporter
will arrive tomorrow
to spend the weekend.

18
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:18,440
Oh, good. That'll give me time
to hang my new drapes
in the guest room.

19
00:02:19,519 --> 00:02:22,454
We want to put on a good front
for these people.

20
00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:25,980
- I'm gonna get my best suit down
and take it down to be pressed.
- Good idea.

21
00:02:26,059 --> 00:02:29,222
- Oh, and while you're there,
have your head blocked.
- Yes, dear.

22
00:02:29,296 --> 00:02:32,390
Oh, and Marilyn,
why don't you go down
to the beauty parlor...

23
00:02:32,466 --> 00:02:35,162
and get fixed up.

24
00:02:35,235 --> 00:02:37,760
Ooh, you might get them to
give you a vulture egg shampoo.

25
00:02:37,838 --> 00:02:39,897
Yes, Aunt Lily, I will.
Good.

26
00:02:39,973 --> 00:02:41,941
Dad?
Yes, Eddie?

27
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,943
I'll comb the snarls
out of Spotty.

28
00:02:45,946 --> 00:02:49,279
And, uh, Grandpa,
what are you gonna do
to get ready for this happy event?

29
00:02:49,349 --> 00:02:52,682
What am I going to do?
I'm gonna get out of here.
That's what I'm going to do.

30
00:02:52,752 --> 00:02:54,913
Grandpa!

31
00:02:54,988 --> 00:03:00,119
Grandpa, don't you realize
what an honor it is to be
selected the "Average American Family"?

32
00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:03,890
Think what it'll do
for our standing in the community...

33
00:03:03,964 --> 00:03:06,626
and how Eddie's playmates
will all begin to notice him.

34
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:11,000
Honor? Why,
it's an insult to the family name
to be called average.

35
00:03:11,071 --> 00:03:16,168
I happen to be a genuine count,
with the blood of princes and dukes
flowing in my veins.

36
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:19,178
Grandpa, that was in the Old Country.

37
00:03:19,246 --> 00:03:22,010
Here in America,
no one cares about royal blood.

38
00:03:22,082 --> 00:03:24,573
Spoilsports!

39
00:03:24,651 --> 00:03:27,176
Well, when that reporter
and photographer get here,

40
00:03:27,254 --> 00:03:32,021
I for one am making myself scarce,
and I'm just the one who can do it.

41
00:03:34,227 --> 00:03:37,685
[Coughs, Grumbles]

42
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:42,724
This ruins everything.
We were chosen by statistics.

43
00:03:42,802 --> 00:03:47,739
We have to show two children,
a pet, an aged grandfather
and a bird.

44
00:03:47,807 --> 00:03:53,006
- [Caws] Who? Me?
- Not you, stupid. I mean Igor.

45
00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:57,106
I feel just awful about Grandpa
acting this way.

46
00:03:57,183 --> 00:04:00,118
I could just lie down and die...
Ohh.

47
00:04:00,186 --> 00:04:02,177
Again.

48
00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:10,322
Grandpa,
I wanna talk to you.

49
00:04:10,397 --> 00:04:12,957
Herman, you can talk yourself
green in the face.

50
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:17,697
I will have nothing to do
with being part of
an average American family.

51
00:04:19,139 --> 00:04:23,007
It may be the way you're made,
but it is not the way I'm made.

52
00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:26,603
Grandpa, give me one good reason
why you're against it.

53
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,911
Well, think what this kind
of publicity would do
to my life story.

54
00:04:29,983 --> 00:04:32,884
Why, if everybody knows me
as the typical old grandpa next door,

55
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,854
who will believe the fantastic life
that I've written about?

56
00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:39,722
Grandpa,
when those reporters show up,
I insist you be here.

57
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:43,889
I won't! I won't! I won't!
If you make me, I'll turn
into a bone...

58
00:04:43,964 --> 00:04:46,228
and bury myself
in the backyard.

59
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:50,736
Last time you did that,
the neighbors' dog dug you up,
and we had a terrible time getting you back.

60
00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:53,932
I don't care. I won't be here.

61
00:04:54,007 --> 00:04:58,205
When those men show up, you are
not leaving the house, you understand?

62
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:02,408
All right. I promise
I won't leave the house.

63
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:06,851
Good.
Don't worry, Herman.

64
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:11,550
I won't leave the house.
But as we used to say in Transylvania,

65
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:14,856
there's more than one way
to skin a bat.

66
00:05:14,928 --> 00:05:18,830
[Igor Squeaking]
All right. All right.

67
00:05:18,898 --> 00:05:22,459
Why is everybody
around here so sensitive?

68
00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:27,596
You're booked on the morning flight,
and don't forget, fellas:

69
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:30,802
We want real coverage and depth
on this average family.

70
00:05:30,877 --> 00:05:33,607
Togetherness and heart
in words and pictures.

71
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,843
I think we oughta play it for laughs,
satirize the whole thing.

72
00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:39,180
You're all wrong,
as usual, Chip.

73
00:05:39,252 --> 00:05:43,450
This is right up my alley.
All heart, these people...
my kind of people.

74
00:05:43,523 --> 00:05:48,358
I don't care how you handle it.
Just bring me back a story
and pictures... plenty of pictures.

75
00:05:48,428 --> 00:05:51,124
And for once,
see if you two can agree
on something.

76
00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:53,995
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll get great pictures.

77
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:57,298
"Mr. Munster polishing his car.
This fascinating shot was taken...

78
00:05:57,370 --> 00:06:00,999
at a great personal risk
in a cockpit of a speeding power mower."

79
00:06:01,074 --> 00:06:04,669
Look. Stop playing
the big-shot war correspondent,
will ya? The boss is right.

80
00:06:04,744 --> 00:06:08,202
These are real people...
down-to-earth,
heartland stuff.

81
00:06:08,281 --> 00:06:11,648
- Why, I might even
get a Pulitzer Prize out of this.
- Why don't you knock it off, Len?

82
00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:14,152
You sound like Chester Morris
on the late, late, late show.

83
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:21,459
Grandpa?
Uh, Grandpa?

84
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,826
Oh, Grandpa?

85
00:06:30,336 --> 00:06:34,830
I can't imagine where he is.
He knows the reporters
are coming this afternoon.

86
00:06:34,908 --> 00:06:38,173
I guess he's gone somewhere,
but the question is
when'll he come back?

87
00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:40,906
[Cawing]
Nevermore.

88
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:43,847
Will you stay out of this?

89
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:46,647
Uncle Herman, I think
he's trying to tell us something.

90
00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:53,984
[Caws]

91
00:06:56,296 --> 00:07:00,665
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Average,
Igor and I have flown the coop.

92
00:07:00,734 --> 00:07:04,761
Sorry we can't be there
for the picture-taking. Grandpa. '"

93
00:07:04,838 --> 00:07:08,239
[Grumbles]
And he promised me
he wouldn't leave the house.

94
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:11,539
Why, when those men show up
and find that one of our statistics
is missing,

95
00:07:11,611 --> 00:07:13,943
he's liable
to call the whole deal off.

96
00:07:14,013 --> 00:07:16,811
Now we'll lose the prize money.

97
00:07:16,883 --> 00:07:21,718
Oh, and we were so looking forward
to that vacation cruise on the Dead Sea.

98
00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:23,722
Fiddlesticks!

99
00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:35,432
[Crash]
Now, Herman!

100
00:07:35,502 --> 00:07:38,494
Listen. The people
from the magazine
won't be here for a while.

101
00:07:38,571 --> 00:07:42,063
Maybe you can find Grandpa
before they get here.
Yes.

102
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:44,235
And I know all his haunts.

103
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:49,543
Now, when those men come here,
Marilyn, you show them to their room
and make some excuse for us.

104
00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:52,084
Don't worry about a thing.
You just go out
and find Grandpa.

105
00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:55,713
Right. We'll check all the places
where he hangs out.

106
00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:57,848
Come... Come, Lily.

107
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:07,093
Don't tell me this is it.

108
00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:10,159
Well, the place where we rented the car
said this was the street.

109
00:08:10,236 --> 00:08:14,605
There's the number: 1313.
House Beautiful it ain't.

110
00:08:14,674 --> 00:08:17,234
I've seen direct hits
that looked better than this.

111
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:20,438
Let's go see if
Ma and Pa Kettle are home.

112
00:08:20,513 --> 00:08:23,641
[Wind Whistling]
[Wolf Howling]

113
00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:27,880
[Door Knocker Banging]
Hey, Chip,
let's call the home office.

114
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:32,482
Something's wrong here.
I don't see anything very
average about this.

115
00:08:33,893 --> 00:08:36,293
Neither do I.
Miss Munster?

116
00:08:36,362 --> 00:08:39,661
I'm Marilyn Munster.
You must be the men
from Event Magazine.

117
00:08:39,732 --> 00:08:43,133
Yes. Right, right.
ChipJohnson. Lennie Bates.

118
00:08:43,203 --> 00:08:45,296
Words. Pictures.
How you doin'?

119
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:48,465
Won't you come in,
please?
Thank you.

120
00:08:48,541 --> 00:08:51,203
Are you in a hurry
to start taking pictures?
Oh, no.

121
00:08:51,277 --> 00:08:54,769
No need to get down
to business so soon.
Good. Then I'll show you to your room.

122
00:08:54,848 --> 00:08:57,373
I suppose you're wondering
where the rest of the family is.

123
00:08:57,450 --> 00:09:01,648
Frankly, it hadn't
even entered my head.
Well, they'll be back soon.

124
00:09:01,721 --> 00:09:05,316
"Be back soon."
What a doll!

125
00:09:22,442 --> 00:09:26,401
Maybe Grandpa got hungry.
Sometimes he comes here
to grab a bite.

126
00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:30,176
You wait here.
I'll see if he's in there.

127
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,801
[All Screaming]

128
00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:16,652
Was Grandpa in there?
No. The place is empty.

129
00:10:16,729 --> 00:10:21,996
They must serve terrible food.
Well, let's keep looking.

130
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:37,980
Grandpa goes down here
once in a while
to enjoy the damp earth.

131
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:40,713
I'll see if he's down there.

132
00:10:46,192 --> 00:10:50,561
Grandpa?
Oh, Grandpa?

133
00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,996
[Man's Voice]
He ain't here.

134
00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:56,035
Okay.
Okay.

135
00:10:58,404 --> 00:11:01,862
S'all right?
S'all right.

136
00:11:06,512 --> 00:11:10,312
Grandpa sometimes comes here
to feed the wolves.

137
00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:24,229
I tell you, Mr. Morgan.
This place is weird.

138
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:27,130
I think we oughta
call it off. Research
must have goofed this one.

139
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,692
Nonsense.
Our computers are never wrong.
They're infallible.

140
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:33,170
Why, they picked
my last three wives for me.

141
00:11:33,239 --> 00:11:37,972
All right. So... So the place
is a little run-down.

142
00:11:38,044 --> 00:11:41,946
I mean, what do you...
what do you expect
the average family to live in?

143
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,381
Huh? The Taj Mahal?

144
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:47,942
Hey. We met the niece.
She's a doll. Now, the rest
of the family's gotta be great.

145
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:56,022
[Chip]
Well, you don't get candy apples
off a lemon tree.

146
00:11:56,095 --> 00:11:59,758
Look, you boys come back here
with a story, and check it all out.

147
00:11:59,832 --> 00:12:02,926
Make sure that family
satisfies our computer to a "T."

148
00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:06,961
I want pets, kids and grandfather.
One thing wrong, and it's off.

149
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,406
And keep Lennie
off the you-know-what.

150
00:12:09,475 --> 00:12:14,276
Now, don't worry.
Lennie doesn't have a pint
of the you-know-what on him.

151
00:12:14,347 --> 00:12:18,408
- Everything is under control.
- Mr. Bates, your room is ready.

152
00:12:20,019 --> 00:12:22,852
But really under control.

153
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:27,115
[Engine Idling]

154
00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:31,420
Well, we've checked all
of Grandpa's hangouts.

155
00:12:31,497 --> 00:12:36,730
Where could he be?
I think we should've looked for him
out at Rose Lawn Memorial Park.

156
00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,738
Lily, that's 10 miles
as the hearse drives.

157
00:12:39,806 --> 00:12:44,106
Well, he often goes out there
to pick up a flower
for his buttonhole.

158
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:49,137
All right.
We'll just have to start looking
for him again early in the morning.

159
00:12:49,215 --> 00:12:53,584
It'll mean good-bye
to $5,000 if we can't
produce him for those pictures.

160
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:57,851
How could a man
who's 400 years old
act so childish?

161
00:12:57,924 --> 00:13:00,791
Now, where could he be?

162
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,794
[Squeaking]
[Grandpa]
Well, Igor,

163
00:13:02,862 --> 00:13:06,628
I promised I wouldn't
leave the house, and I didn't.
[Cackles]

164
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:11,033
We'll just hang around up here
until those men from the magazine
have gone.

165
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:15,939
[Squeaking]
Shh. Will you be quiet,
Igor? They'll hear us.

166
00:13:16,008 --> 00:13:19,171
Just play dead.

167
00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:23,845
So, your folks
collect antiques, huh?

168
00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:27,784
Antiques fascinate me.
Tell me more.

169
00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:31,312
Maybe you'd like
to see some of them?
Yes. Yes.

170
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:34,587
Especially if they're stuck away
in some dark corner.

171
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:38,118
Well, on second thought,
it's getting a little late.

172
00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:43,191
I wonder what's keeping your partner.
Oh, he has to
unpack all those cameras.

173
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,600
[Creaking]

174
00:14:08,828 --> 00:14:12,355
It certainly
is a marvelous antique.

175
00:14:12,431 --> 00:14:15,696
What's it called?
"Early San Quentin"?

176
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:20,068
[Lennie] Chip.!
Oh, there's the reprieve
from the governor.

177
00:14:21,107 --> 00:14:24,133
Well, don't go away, doll.
I'll be right back.

178
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:27,270
Well, I think I'll say good night now,
but I'll see you in the morning.

179
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:29,405
Okay.

180
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:33,483
[Low Chuckle]
Good night.

181
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:42,023
What do you want?
I was just beginning to
soften her up.

182
00:14:42,094 --> 00:14:45,860
Chip, there's something
awfully wrong here.
A man got onto this thing...

183
00:14:45,932 --> 00:14:50,301
and then turned
into a suit of armor.
[Heavy Clank]

184
00:14:53,806 --> 00:14:56,866
I suppose the next thing
you're gonna tell me
is you saw little men.

185
00:14:56,943 --> 00:15:00,811
Well, I was afraid
to mention it before,
but when we first came in,

186
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:05,783
I did see one run across the hall...
and then later, he ran up the stairs.

187
00:15:05,851 --> 00:15:08,684
My boy,
you need a good night's rest.

188
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:18,562
It's discouraging, Herman.
Grandpa is just nowhere around.

189
00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:23,068
I know. How many places
are there in a town like this
where a man can bury himself?

190
00:15:23,135 --> 00:15:28,129
When I think of losing that $5,000,
it makes me so mad
I could blow my top!

191
00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:32,041
Well, don't do that, dear.
It's always so messy.

192
00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:40,007
What are you doin'
with the binoculars?

193
00:15:40,086 --> 00:15:43,317
No, thank you. Now,
put that away, will you?

194
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:46,654
No wonder you've been
seeing little men. Now, come on.
Let's go to bed.

195
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:51,095
We don't wanna look
like a couple of weirdos
when we meet the rest of the family, hmm?

196
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:56,401
Put it away.
[Pats Back]

197
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,346
[Yawning]

198
00:16:57,763 --> 00:17:00,357
Chip. Chip.
Chip, wake up.
Huh? Huh?

199
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,334
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
There's a monster in the hall.

200
00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:08,203
Lennie, ya big dope,
will you stay out of the binoculars?
I saw it; I swear it!

201
00:17:08,274 --> 00:17:13,473
He's about seven foot tall,
and his head is bolted to his neck,
and he's wearing a nightshirt.

202
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:17,607
I saw it. Come on.
I swear. I swear. Come on.
All right! All right!

203
00:17:17,683 --> 00:17:19,913
Let go.

204
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:29,718
[Lennie]
Isn't it awful?

205
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:38,130
It's frightening.
But it was there!

206
00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:41,196
I'm gonna take you
to a psychiatrist.

207
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,500
Chip, I swear it.
I saw it. I swear I saw it.

208
00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:49,139
If you weren't dreaming,
what were you doing at the door
in the first place?

209
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:53,652
I was going to get a glass of water.
Well, the big, bad bogeyman's gone.
Go get your water.

210
00:17:56,756 --> 00:18:00,089
Eddie, are you in bed?

211
00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,354
[Eddie]
Yes, but I can't stay awake.

212
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:06,364
You'll be able to. Just lie there
with your eyes open, dear.

213
00:18:18,277 --> 00:18:20,268
[Muttering, Indistinct]

214
00:18:20,346 --> 00:18:23,509
I'm getting out of here.

215
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:27,018
Now, look here.
What do you wanna do?
Get us both fired?

216
00:18:27,086 --> 00:18:29,520
I'll tell ya what I'll do.

217
00:18:29,588 --> 00:18:34,048
Wait a minute. I'll tell you
what I'll do. We'll go through
the whole house together.

218
00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:39,496
[Grumbling]
No. I'll prove to you
that there's nothing here but
a gorgeous creature named Marilyn...

219
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:42,193
and her harmless,
average American family.

220
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:46,705
Okay? I'll be with you
every minute.

221
00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:51,410
Okay.
Come on.

222
00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:07,081
Gee, you certainly go through
an awful lot, Lily, to make yourself
beautiful just to go to bed.

223
00:19:07,159 --> 00:19:10,424
Anything for you, pussycat.

224
00:19:10,496 --> 00:19:14,330
[Door Opening, Closing]
Did you hear that?

225
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,062
Hmm?
It's downstairs.

226
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:19,661
Oh. Good.

227
00:19:19,738 --> 00:19:25,108
- It's burglars. Herman,
you go down and have a look.
- Do I have to?

228
00:19:25,177 --> 00:19:28,613
Of course!
Go down and scare them off!

229
00:19:28,681 --> 00:19:31,616
Me? Scare them off? How?

230
00:19:31,684 --> 00:19:34,152
Herman.

231
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:38,713
All right. Just a moment.

232
00:19:45,898 --> 00:19:48,867
Oh, will you hurry?
All right.
Just let me see if it's loaded.

233
00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,632
Come on!
I'm going. I'm going.

234
00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:15,819
[Chip]
It's a little far out, but you don't
see any monsters, do you?

235
00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:19,058
[Lennie]
So far. I'm sure
I heard footsteps.

236
00:20:19,131 --> 00:20:21,622
Let's look in there.

237
00:20:33,612 --> 00:20:36,581
[Chip] You see,
there's nothing unusual in here, right?
Hey, look.

238
00:20:36,649 --> 00:20:38,640
Aww. Nice kitty.

239
00:20:38,717 --> 00:20:41,083
[Roars]

240
00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:47,090
Careful.
Looks like an electric chair.

241
00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:50,026
Let's get out of here.
It might be plugged in.

242
00:21:00,906 --> 00:21:03,773
Well, you gotta admit
we didn't find anything, right?
[Footsteps Approaching]

243
00:21:04,877 --> 00:21:06,970
Hmm.
I guess you're right.

244
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:10,072
[Footsteps Grow Louder]
What's that?

245
00:21:15,087 --> 00:21:18,682
It's just our own footsteps,
ya dope.

246
00:21:18,757 --> 00:21:23,353
Our own footsteps, huh?
Then how come they're
still walkin'?

247
00:21:25,164 --> 00:21:28,429
We'll look back together.

248
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,300
Shh.
See, ya big dope?
You got me doin' it now.

249
00:21:38,377 --> 00:21:41,107
It's just your imagination.

250
00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:43,774
- [Lily Screams]
- [Both Scream]

251
00:21:43,849 --> 00:21:48,377
- Help! Grandpa!
- [Men Muttering, Screaming]

252
00:21:51,657 --> 00:21:53,716
It's me, Chip.

253
00:21:55,394 --> 00:21:59,057
- [Screams]
- Herman!

254
00:21:59,131 --> 00:22:04,501
- No! Not Grandpa!
The burglars!
- [Herman Muttering]

255
00:22:08,007 --> 00:22:10,373
[Gasps]

256
00:22:10,442 --> 00:22:13,172
It's me!

257
00:22:13,245 --> 00:22:15,509
Ohh. Ohh.

258
00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:18,175
[Both Screaming]

259
00:22:21,353 --> 00:22:24,516
Aunt Lily, Uncle Herman,
what happened?

260
00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:28,026
There were burglars in the house, dear.
We just chased them off.
[Car Zooming Away]

261
00:22:28,093 --> 00:22:32,689
Burglars?
Those were the two men
from Event Magazine.

262
00:22:33,832 --> 00:22:38,166
Oh, bats!
There goes our $5,000,
Herman.

263
00:22:38,237 --> 00:22:43,038
Well, I guess
there's only one thing to do.

264
00:22:45,277 --> 00:22:49,338
Oh, darn. I forgot.
[Laughing]

265
00:22:52,518 --> 00:22:57,012
- [Lennie On Phone]
But, boss, they are monsters.
- Yeah, yeah. I saw them. It was horrible.

266
00:22:57,089 --> 00:22:59,853
Look. You boys have been
at that binocular case too much.

267
00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:03,122
Now, you get back there
and get that picture,
or you're both fired!

268
00:23:05,731 --> 00:23:08,222
Well, you heard the man.
Back we go.

269
00:23:10,169 --> 00:23:14,663
[Lennie]
Four lenses cracked before I got it.
I finally used the strongest one we had,

270
00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:17,072
the one for elephant stampedes.

271
00:23:17,142 --> 00:23:20,009
It's magnificent.
Hmm?
What?

272
00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:23,310
Look, we have shown
the average American family
celebrating New Year's,

273
00:23:23,382 --> 00:23:27,842
Christmas, Mother's Day,
the Fourth ofJuly
and Susan B. Anthony's birthday,

274
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,880
but this is the first time we have
ever shown the average American family
celebrating Halloween.

275
00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:36,689
Boys, you are brilliant.
Send a check to the Munsters...

276
00:23:36,762 --> 00:23:39,492
and pick up a $1,000 bonus
from the cashier.

277
00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:42,932
And congratulations.
[Chortles]

278
00:23:43,001 --> 00:23:46,937
[Lily]
Isn't it a beautiful picture, Herman?

279
00:23:47,005 --> 00:23:50,236
Mm. Yeah, but...

280
00:23:50,309 --> 00:23:53,335
but look what
it says here:

281
00:23:53,412 --> 00:23:56,438
"America's Average Family
Celebrates Halloween."

282
00:23:56,515 --> 00:23:59,882
Halloween?
What are they talking about? This
is the way we look every day of the year.

283
00:23:59,952 --> 00:24:04,753
Yeah, on Halloween,
we put on masks and try
to frighten people.

284
00:24:04,823 --> 00:24:07,986
Wait a minute. It's a mistake.
They switched headlines.

285
00:24:08,060 --> 00:24:13,555
Here's the Halloween picture:
"The Pierpont van Schuylers
in their latest family portrait."

286
00:24:13,632 --> 00:24:16,692
Why, that's the weirdest bunch
of trick-or-treaters I ever saw.

287
00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:19,829
How could a magazine like that
make such a mistake?

288
00:24:19,905 --> 00:24:22,897
Say, Herman,
you think maybe
we could sue them?

289
00:24:22,975 --> 00:24:28,470
Oh... Oh, my goodness, no.
I think we should just
be good sports and laugh it off.

290
00:24:28,547 --> 00:24:30,913
- Laugh it off?
- Why, sure, Lily.

291
00:24:30,983 --> 00:24:34,544
We're not just
the plain old Munsters anymore,
you know.

292
00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:38,078
We're the average American family,

293
00:24:38,157 --> 00:24:42,423
and I think we owe it to our country
to keep our sense of humor.